FAQ - - 2006-01-20 19:21:03
Please see below for questions that are asked frequently. Thank you.
I was depressed and doing nothing most of the day. I needed something to keep me busy, I wanted to express my feelings without fear of judgment, and let others know that they were not alone.
The title is inspired by a short story I read in the book "Healing The Shame That Binds You" by John Bradshaw. The short story called "The Prisoner In The Dark Cave" tells of a man who was sentenced to die. He was blindfolded and put in a pitch dark cave. He was told that there was a way out of the cave, and if he could find it, he was a free man. Because he could see a faint light up above in the cage, he spent all of his time trying to find a way out through that small opening of light. As it turned out, the way out was deep down in the darkness and not up above in the light, but the man never found it. He had so completely focused on the opening of light that it never occurred to him to look for freedom in the darkness. The story ends with the line "Liberation was there all the time right next to the mound he was building, but it was in the darkness."
Yes and no. I don't have as much time now, so updates are not frequent. However, I still update stories sent by survivors. For the rest, most of the articles were written years ago.
My time online is now mostly dedicated to a non-profit organization I co-founded, After Silence. It includes a large message board and a chat room where survivors can connect with one another in real time.
Please understand that this website is a window into who I was and how I used to feel years ago. It doesn’t necessarily reflect who I am and how I feel today. After Silence is a step forward and is designed to help others in need.
If you live in the USA contact RAINN at: 1-800-656-HOPE, they can give you information about support groups in your area. You may also visit After Silence Forum. It is open to all survivors of sexual violence (14 years old and older). No matter what part of the world you live in, we are there for you.
I'm sorry. I assure you that it's nothing personal. When I first published this site, I was spending most of my time at home and I used to reply to every email. Things have changed now. I moved to a different country and I'm a full time student. Due to the high number of emails I receive each day, it is impossible for me to reply to each of them. I do read and appreciate all emails I am sent and I'm really sorry if I haven't replied to yours.
I receive countless emails asking me this question. I know how it feels, but trust me....there is nothing wrong with you. If you were raped, you have been through one of the most terrifying experiences in life. Feeling hurt, sad, angry, and confused is a normal reaction to experiences that are stressful, upsetting or difficult to come to terms with. Healing is a long process, and recovery calls for a lot of patience.
Sure you can. You may use one of my banners, or a text link.
Yes, as long as your website deals with rape, sexual abuse and its aftermath. Just send me an email with your site name, url, and a description. I'm always glad to get new recommendations.
As soon as I have a free moment.
Sorry, I do not have the time for any research for other people at present. All I know is posted on my website.
I receive over 100 stories each month. At this time, about 650 are posted, and 500 are awaiting approval. I will get to your story, I promise. I just need some time. Please do not submit it again as this will only delay the process.
Please ask first. Do not use any portion of Dancing In the Darkness on your website unless I give you permission to do so. Better yet, link to the part you are interested in.
The contents of this site are copyrighted. Please ask before and I will most likely grant you permission to use part of it. This does NOT grant you permission to use any of the stories submitted by visitors of this site. I have no way to contact them and ask them for permission, please do NOT use any of their writing.
No. Do not use any of the graphics or images of my site without my permission. It's considered stealing if you do.
This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.