Rape and sexual abuse survivors - Dancing In The Darkness resource for rape and sexual abuse survivors. help and support for rape and sexual abuse survivors
rape and sexual abuse survivors share their thoughts rape is NEVER your fault aftermath of rape and sexual abuse
support for flashbacks, eating disorders, P.T.S.D. After Silence is a message board for rape and sexual abuse survivors Share your story
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Date Rape

Date Rape

In many cases of rape and sexual abuse, the predator is a man the woman is dating. This is commonly called Date Rape or Aquaintance Rape. These are the most common type of rape committed.

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Dancing in the Darkness
Shame - - 2003-11-11 15:18:12
"The feeling of shame is so intense for rape victims that many never tell anyone what happened to them....Despite more than two decades in change of social attitudes about rape, I still found it difficult not to feel ashamed when others reacted to me with embarrassment or discomfort. And this feeling of shame silenced me...Rape shame is hard to escape"
Nancy V. Raine
"After Silence: Rape and my Journey Back"

Shame is one of the most overwhelming emotions experienced by survivors of sexual abuse, an emotion that tells us we are not good enough, that there is something wrong with us and encourages us to hide the truth.
"Rape-Shame" is a feeling that often seems to take a life on its own, spreading widely through our bones, effecting the way we live and interact with others.

Shame is also difficult to understand or analyze because it's a feeling that stays in hiding and cover itself up.
Being ashamed gives you a sense of inferiority and worthlessness, it makes you feel isolated and haunted by a sense of being a failure.
One of the most painful experience in life is rejection, we all fear it....But when we feel ashamed we are rejecting ourselves, telling ourselves that we are unwanted and unlovable.
Shame is like a wall that separates us form other people because it's almost impossible to let someone get close to you if you think you don't deserve to be cared for.

Here are some definitions of Shame:


"The humiliating feeling of having appeared unfavorably in one's own eyes, or those of others as a result of one's own offensive or disrespectful actions."

"A painful sensation excited by a consciousness of guilt or impropriety, or of having done something which injures reputation..."

"The painful emotion arising from the consciousness of something dishonoring, ridiculous, or indecorous in one's own conduct or circumstances"

Shame is what the rapist, not the victim, should feel.
You are not to blame for the crime committed against you because you could not control the actions of another person and therefore you should NOT feel ashamed.


You don't have to hide behind a mask



Please clickHere to share your thoughts on shame.



This site is offered for support of other survivors, it is not meant to be a substitute for any kind of professional help. I don't have any qualifications or training in therapy, I am by no means a professional. I claim no responsibility for the use of this web site, use of content, or content of any links leading from this site. If you are in a crisis situation I urge you to contact your local rape crisis center or health care professional.

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